The Need is Great

I have begun to realize for the past month or so that there was just something not quite right with what I believe. Growing up in a small town, I was raised as conservative as they come by two loving parents. I attended a Southern Baptist church because it is the ONLY true way to believe, or so they say in Alabama. And did I ever... believed everything that was spoon fed to me- until college.

College is where everyone abandons what they believe, though. It is only natural. People go in with all of their beliefs, dump everything there and only the true stuff sticks. A filter of the mind and heart. It didn't so much work that way for me. I went in and for lack of a better word, was brainwashed by the "Christians" on campus. They really screwed me up. Almost four years later, I am still working out the crap they fed to me. So many rules, so much failure. So what do I do with the rules and guilt and failures? Anyone who knows me can answer freely... I threw it up in the air and watched it fall and crash into a million pieces around me(as I laughed wrecklessly). I ran as fast and as hard as I could in the other direction, abandoning all caution. It was fun! However, all good things must come to an end...

SO now, I am married and live in an Atlanta suburb complete with a wooden fence and two dogs. I work in communications at a non-profit and have a very pretty life. OK... so that is good too. Not ALL good things must come to an end... but they definitely change.

So what is up? Something is still wrong. Is there a small area that I keep missing where my beliefs line up? Or should I be searching for an area at all? Does God want me to always be the different one, the one always questioning the teacher, not believing everything? Or have I become so afraid of believing the wrong thing that I don't want to believe anything at all?

Who knows? Maybe laying my thoughts down on the blog will help me sort everything out.

I hope you enjoy reading this... Please add your comments. I am always open to them... I think!